Well folks I’m not doing blogs on Mondays any more. Sunday is now my day. So I’m going to take this opportunity to speak on subjects not related to things I hate like for example, my life, Mondays and those stupid Mohawk haircuts I see all the kids with. Instead I will just discuss my gripe with big name, American actors that can’t act their way out of a wet paper bag. First on my list is the enigmatic Keanu Reeves. Reeves is the perfect example of an actor that gets roles based solely on his looks. I’m not going to lie, he is a great looking dude and he has aged extremely gracefully from his role as Ted Theodore Logan on Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, which subsequently has been the foundation for every role he has played since. Let’s face it the man has the range of a bent arrow being shot from a bow held by an autistic child. Despite his shortcomings as an actor he has managed to have an illustrious career. God Bless American Cinema.
The second actor that comes to mind is Ben Affleck. Granted he was “the shit in Phantoms”, but unfortunately all of his other roles did not have the same impact on the movie going public. Quite honestly I have 2 nicknames for Ben. One is Ben AssFlex since he is another actor that gets hired simply because of his pretty-boy status. The other nickname I so graciously bestowed upon him is “Movie Cancer”. I feel this is the more accurate name for him. I gave him that name after I saw Daredevil for the first time. I actually may mention that film again when I speak about directors who think they can direct. Ben has unquestionably lived up to these nicknames in such films as The Sum of All Fears, Paycheck, Armageddon, the list goes on and on. The only other redeemable role he played was that of George Reeves in HollywoodLand.
Last but not least is Nicolas Cage. I could write all day and night about how much Nick Cage sucks. In fact I believe I would have a literal heart attack if I ever had the opportunity to see that man play anything else other than Nicolas Cage in yet another precarious situation. The worse thing about it is he is so arrogant he thinks his old ass should play every comic book character that gets the chance to be on the big screen. On top of that, instead of playing the role he changes the character to his own specifications due to his lack of skill as a character actor. Now there are plenty more actors and I can discuss in the same vain but I think I will do that at the request of my readers.
My friends, I leave you with these words from Clint Eastwood “Every Man has got to know his Limitations”. Truer words have never been spoken